Guilty Pleasure

A friend of mine, once, tell me bout 'guilty pleasure' that.. she is british in music taste, but sometimes she likes to listen Sheila on7. It's kinda weird for her coz she is ashamed of it, but the truth can't be avoided. It's such a guilty, but she enjoy it.

This is the night that I have to admit to myself. Foolish game. Maybe this is common that I used to do this in my old times. I dont care bout the effect, I juz do everything I want (still save of course, but useless.. wasting time!). But then in the end, I will regret that pleasure. and being grown up, I decided not to do that kind of game anymore. I try to think logically, rational and realistic. dream is juz such a imagination that can stay only in our mind, not come into reality.
I feel sad to realize the situation.
To realize that I've been trapped in a game. Foolish game.
U can say that I have kinda traumatic game, stupid things, and I've tried not to involve in a such thing. U can say I am paranoid, but IT'S TRUE! I'm skeptic! I'm a deep thinker! I'm melancholic!
so what?????????
And after long time ago, last time I decided not to get into a guilty things.. this nite.. again... I'm in the guilty pleasure. stupid girl... stupid pleasure.

God please gimme your sign.. a solution..
the guilty pleasure is only a sudden pleasure.. I pray for this pleasure, will it be long lasting? or I am waiting for a death behind?